


the heart wants what it wants

by alistaircousland



Category: Glee, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Alternate Universe - Magic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:49:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27029881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alistaircousland/pseuds/alistaircousland
Summary: a story of sebastian smythe and kurt hummel, students of hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry, from when they were sorted to their houses until their last year.
Relationships: Kurt Hummel/Sebastian Smythe, Sebastian Smythe & Jeff Sterling
Comments: 4
Kudos: 47





	the heart wants what it wants

**Author's Note:**

> at the sixth year, there is some skirmish between kurt and karofsky that might be - triggering. i took that particular storyline to the t from glee.

**first year**

“Smythe, Sebastian!” called Professor McGonagall, Sorting Hat in hand. Kurt Hummel, having been sorted to Gryffindor a few moments back, watched the chestnut-haired boy walk up the stairs to the stool, facing forward with an empty look in his eyes.

The Sorting Hat didn’t say anything. For Kurt, and most of the first-years, the Hat was quick, at most taking only a minute. Kurt’s own sorting had taken almost two minutes, where the hat was flicking between Slytherin and Gryffindor, before shrilling “Gryffindor!” and let him be.

For Sebastian Smythe, the Hat looked confused. It murmured to itself, as if unsure where the boy is supposed to go.

“Ravenclaw… Slytherin… You do have the brains for Ravenclaw, don’t you? Very sharp… very alone… indeed…” The murmurs were getting louder as the boy closed his eyes, sighing audibly.

“Just put me in Slytherin. I know you’re just stalling.” Sebastian said.

“Ah, I see. Slytherin _can_ get you to greatness… it is not a question… very clever indeed… and you don’t like rules either, don’t you? Hmm…”

That was the five-minute mark. Sebastian Smythe was officially a Hatstall. The Great Hall were filled with murmurs and whispers, waiting whether he would break Professor McGonagall’s own Hatstall time. “So, can we get on with it now?” Sebastian groaned, pretty loudly.

“Alright…” The Hat said with a pause. “Slytherin!”

The boy immediately leaped from the stool and took a few long strides to the Slytherin table, but there, he took a seat a little further, leaving space for one or two people between him and the closest student already sat. The cheers soon subdued, as the newest Slytherin busied himself with watching the Sorting Hat going through other children in quick successions.

“Sterling, Jeffrey!” Professor McGonagall called as a blond boy reached the stool, put the Hat on his head, and waited.

It only took 10 seconds until the Hat shouted, “Slytherin!”

The table roared again with cheers, and this time, the even newest Slytherin sat next to the students of Slytherin, placing himself between them and Sebastian. “Hey, Hatstall.” He elbowed the subdued boy next to him.

“I didn’t say I was in a talking mood.” The other boy said as a response.

“I know. But I plan to make everyone my friend. That, my new friend, includes you. Come on! I already have ideas on how to prank the whole school!”

“Are you a Weasley or what?” Sebastian turned around to face the very excited boy, only to be answered with a shrug.

“My family see them a lot. We’re like, cousins in law or something. Fleur is my cousin once removed and then she married a Weasley, so! George is a lot of fun. It’s too bad that Fred is not here anymore or else I would’ve known more pranks to do.” Sterling actually sighed at the thought. “Call me Jeff.”

“Well, that explains it.” Sebastian rolled his eyes as he turned around again to watch the Hat do its job.

“Hey, Hatstall.” Jeff called again.

“My name is _Sebastian_.”

“Hey, Sebastian.” Jeff repeated. The other boy turned _slightly_ , but not completely, to look at the blond boy. “I’ll make me your friend. That’s a promise.”

“Yeah, well, I’d like to see you try.”

\---

**second year**

Jeff was true to his word. He befriended nearly everyone in his year and even several from the upper years. He wasn’t the brightest student, but he did well enough despite his antics. Even Professor McGonagall couldn’t hold her giggling once when Jeff pranked the Transfiguration class when he replaced the small birds they were using with adult chickens. Slytherin lost 20 points, but it _had_ been really funny.

He also did make Sebastian Smythe, the resident recluse, to grumpily admit he was his (only) friend. Whenever they had to do tasks in pairs, Jeff would be there to sit next to Sebastian and accompany the boy. Sebastian, on the other hand, was very bright, even surpassing some Ravenclaws’ grades. It had been clear of why the Sorting Hat was seriously considering Ravenclaw for the boy. He especially excelled in Transfigurations, as when Jeff did his stunt with the chickens, he simply changed his chicken into a teapot, since they were supposed to change a bird into a cup, only with his books and none of Professor McGonagall’s directions. That regained Slytherin 50 points and a relieved look on Jeff’s face.

That was the extent of Kurt’s somewhat interaction with the Slytherin Hatstall, though. Their houses only shared Transfigurations, Potions, and Defence Against the Dark Arts, and for the latter class, it had been mostly theoretical and paperwork. Actual practice would start in third year, or so their professor said.

Kurt had been hanging out with Mercedes, another Gryffindor, and Rachel, a Slytherin but with a similar penchant for Muggle plays like the two Gryffindors, on the grounds when their year’s biggest bullies came—David Karofsky, Azimio Adams, and Christopher Strando, all Slytherin, and all really, really mean bullies. Rachel stood in front of them, wand ready, as Kurt held Mercedes’ hand, which was shaking.

“Ooo, the mighty princess and his two maids! Whatever ye doing in this fine afternoon, ladies?” started Karofsky, with Adams and Strando snickering behind him.

“None of your business, David. Go back to wherever you’re wanted, because you’re not wanted here.” Rachel had raised her wand higher, in front of Karofsky’s nose.

“What are you going to do, Berry? Cry to your daddies? Pssht, they would think you’re just being dramatic, like you always are.” Adams growled.

“Don’t get my dads into this. Go away, guys.” Rachel said, the hand holding her wand starting to shake.

“Oooo! The maid is scared! Hey princess, aren’t you going to rescue your little servant? Oh, wait, you can’t, because you’re just a Gryffindor loser. What are you doing with them, Berry? You know they’re not in our league.” Karofsky sneered.

“Just because we’re in different houses doesn’t mean we can’t be friends. And you’re right, Rachel is not in your league. She’s above you all. You are just _scums_.” Kurt took a step in front of Rachel.

“Say that again, princess.”

“The three of you are just priceless, useless, worthless _scums_ that don’t even deserve to be in Hogwarts. This school is too good for you. Go back to your daddies and mommies and cry because that’s all you could do. You couldn’t even do your schoolwork right in a _school_. I bet you can’t even perform a spell right.”

“Watch what you’re saying, Hummel!” Karofsky had taken out his wand, but before then—

“ _Expelliarmus!_ ” Sebastian shouted from the side. “Did you really think this was a great way to spend your useless time?”

“As if you knew anything better to do, you fucking bookworm! You’re not even a real Slytherin!” balked Adams. He had his wand in front of him, but Rachel was quick to cast ‘ _Rictusempra_!’ and he was stuck in a tickling mess. Sebastian nodded at Rachel as he closed his distance with Karofsky.

“One of us needs to win the House Cup for Slytherin, and I’m pretty sure between the two of us, you can’t do it even if you tried.” Sebastian retorted.

“Why would you want to protect these stupid Gryffindors anyway, huh?” Karofsky scampered from where he fell on the ground, standing up and dusting off his robes. “If you were a true Slytherin you wouldn’t even _mingle_ with their kind, unlike Berry here!”

“I have never even talked to them.” Sebastian said. “But I also don’t like bullies. So gather your things before I set you all on fire.”

“As if you could—” Sebastian had set Karofsky’s shoes on fire. “Ah! Fuck! Fucking piece of shit! Let me off now!”

“Maybe if you go, I will.” Karofsky looked like he was going to strangle Sebastian, but since the bottom of his pants were now burning like his shoes, he merely took his wand and ran away, a still-tickled Adams and fuming Strando behind him.

“We didn’t need your help.” Kurt said as Sebastian flicked his wand, putting out the fire from Karofsky’s feet. “But thank you.”

“I know. I wasn’t helping you.” Sebastian answered. “Sebastian Smythe,” he offered his hand.

“Kurt Hummel. You’re the Hatstall.” Kurt took the hand, shaking it quickly.

“And you smell like Muggles.” Sebastian pocketed his wand.

“Muggles aren’t _bad_. My father is a Muggle.” Kurt was now fuming. “I thought you’d be different than them, but—”

“I didn’t say anything about Muggles being bad. I just said you smell like Muggles. And I told you, I wasn’t helping you.” Sebastian fixed a stern stare against Kurt’s blue eyes.

“Fine. Don’t expect me to be your friend just because you rescued us once.” Kurt put his hands into his pockets. _Bloody pureblood Slytherins_ , he thought to himself.

“I didn’t expect you to anyway. Let’s just hope that was punishment enough for the stupid brutes for the time being and we won’t cross each other’s path again.” Sebastian pocketed his wand and left the group.

“Is he always like that?” Mercedes asked. “That was really rude even if he did stand up for us.”

Rachel only nodded. “The only person that could hold a civil conversation with him is just Jeff. You know, the blond prankster?”

“Yeah.” Kurt sighed. “That was a good cast, Rachel.”

“Thank you! My dad taught it to me when I was five. He’d always put me in a tickling mess whenever I disobey. I of course do the same to him.” Rachel raised her head haughtily as she flipped her hair. Kurt merely rolled his eyes at his fault of stroking his friend’s already big ego.

“Come on guys, we’ll be late for dinner.” Mercedes said, tugging at Kurt’s hand.

\---

**third year**

At their first Defence Against the Dark Arts class, they had a visiting professor—Harry Potter himself—which was super exciting. It wasn’t every day that you would have a visiting teacher from the Second Wizarding War—other than staff professors already around like McGonagall or Longbottom—as a lot of them had risen to important positions in the bureaucracy, Potter included.

“Good afternoon, class! I hope you all haven’t been exhausted after Herbology. I know what a challenge that had been for myself as well.” Mr. Potter started as he stood next to a very volatile cupboard.

“For those of you that don’t know, my name is Harry Potter. I’m currently the Head Auror. Some of you might have read my name in history books, but don’t mind that. Right now, I’m just an old man teaching you how to protect yourself against bad, bad monsters.” He gave a kick to the cupboard as it struggled even more.

“This was the same first lesson I had in my third year Defence Against the Dark Arts class. What I have inside of this cupboard is a ‘Boggart’. This creature can shift to be your worst nightmare. I know that sounds really scary, but as an old friend and teacher had taught me, we have a significant advantage against it. Does anyone know why?”

A hand from the Slytherin group shot up.

“Yes?”

“There’s a lot of us. A lot of fears. It might be confused.” Sebastian answered coolly.

“Excellent! What’s your name, pray tell?”

“Sebastian Smythe.”

“Ah.” Mr. Potter cleared his throat. “I met a Smythe once. Excellent, Mr. Smythe. 10 points to Slytherin.” Mr. Potter took a position in front of the still volatile cupboard. “Now, before we do anything, I would like all of us to practice how to fight it. First, the spell. Without your wands, repeat after me. ‘ _Riddikulus._ ’”

A string of ‘ _Riddikulus_ ’s echoed around the chamber. After a minute, Mr. Potter clapped his hands together. “Alright, I think that’s enough. Second important part, when we all cast the spell, we should think of a very, very silly thought. Okay, let’s see… you!” Mr. Potter pointed at Kurt, that had been standing next to a window.

“Me?”

“Yes, you. Come up here.” Mr. Potter motioned to the front of the room. “What is your biggest fear?”

Kurt was shocked. He didn’t think he had to voice it out to everyone. “Uh.” He gulped. “Watching my father die.”

Mr. Potter had a fond look in his face. “Of course. You can see the image, right?”

Kurt nodded slowly.

“Now imagine something silly. Like your father standing up from his bed to dance the flamingo, or something. Boggarts are defeated by laughter, so think of something very silly.”

Kurt closed his eyes, imagining his father when he had that heart attack in his last summer holiday, with tubes around him in the hospital, then rising up to dance to Single Ladies with him.

“Yeah, I can imagine it.” Kurt finally said after a few minutes of silence.

“Excellent. Would you like to try first?” Mr. Potter gave the volatile cupboard another kick.

“Okay. But… it’s okay if I don’t make it, right?” Kurt asked softly.

“It’s okay. But you’re a Gryffindor, just like me. Remember our biggest strength?” Mr. Potter crouched down as he looked into Kurt’s eyes.

“Bravery.”

“Bravery. You can do this… I’m sorry, I forgot to ask your name?”

“Kurt Hummel.”

“You can do this, Kurt. On three, I will let the Boggart loose. Everyone, take a step back and _watch_.” Mr. Potter returned to his post next to the cupboard. “One, two… three.” He unclasped the lock of the cupboard as a black cloud fled out of the cupboard, shrieking, before settling in front of Kurt and transformed to look like Burt Hummel on his hospital bed. Kurt whipped his wand in front of him, took a deep breath, and shouted, “ _Riddikulus_!”

It worked. Burt Hummel, one moment was in his deathbed, now dancing to Single Ladies, with a little Kurt in tow. Kurt laughed.

“Excellent! Excellent. Good job, Kurt! Now, I’d like everyone to make a clean single queue for the Boggart, please. Do exactly what Mr. Hummel had done. Very well done.” Mr. Potter patted Kurt on the shoulder as he motioned for the next Gryffindor in line, as Kurt jogged to the very back of the line.

A lot of fears had been manifested—spiders, angry grandmothers, even Professor McGonagall in anger once. At the last sight, Mr. Potter chuckled. “I know how that felt like.”

At last, it was Sebastian’s turn. The Boggart had changed shapes a few times, once to the Dark Lord, once to a pair of adults that resembled Sebastian so much they could only be his parents, and finally settled on Sebastian himself, a little taller, a little older, shirtless with only one thing adorning his body.

The Dark Mark, slithering its way up and down his right arm.

Sebastian, the real Sebastian, only stood there watching his own reflection smirk, playing with the Dark Mark as if it’s a pet.

“Mr. Smythe?” called Mr. Potter. Sebastian flicked his sight to Mr. Potter, but it was a dead stare. The Slytherin closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and waved his wand, just as his Boggart reflection did.

The class could hear a whisper of ‘ _Avada—_ ’ from the Boggart reflection as the real Sebastian yelled, “ _Riddikulus!_ ”

His Boggart reflection had snapped his own neck. Sebastian snorted at the sight. “At least I wouldn’t meet you in the future if that happened, right?” he murmured to Mr. Potter as he took his spot at the back of the line.

“Right… I think that’s a good end for today’s lesson.” Mr. Potter whisked up the Boggart back to its cupboard and locked it tightly, returning it as a hapless, volatile thing on the floor. “Next week, if everything goes well, my best friend and colleague, Ron Weasley will visit and teach you on Grindylows. It was nice meeting fresh talents of Hogwarts. See you all on another occasion!”

Outside the class, Jeff had jogged to catch up with Sebastian whom, since he was at the very back of the class, had a head start to exit the room, meanwhile Jeff had his opportunity with the Boggart earlier. “Sebastian! Sebastian, stop! Wait!”

Sebastian didn’t stop, only slowed his speed a little bit, although since Jeff was the same height as him, it didn’t take much longer. “What was that?”

“Well, you saw my worst fear.” Sebastian shrugged. “Fears.” He corrected.

“You’re scared of… your parents and yourself?” Jeff asked, putting himself in front of Sebastian and walked backwards.

“And the Dark Lord, don’t forget that.” Sebastian growled. “Is it really a problem, Jeff? Because if it is, it doesn’t really matter to me. You’re the one who wanted to be my friend, not the other way.”

“Okay, keep your panties on, tiger.” Jeff held up his hands in a surrender motion. “I didn’t say anything. But… why? Why are you scared of yourself?”

“Because I don’t want to end up as a Death Eater like my parents!” Sebastian shouted, stopping in his tracks. “It’s fucking _enough_ that my father let my mother kill him in an attempt to resurrect the Dark Lord. In front of my _eyes_. It’s fucking enough that my mother is in fucking Azkaban, fucking rotting because she’s a fucking rotten, vile _monster_ who, by the way, was taken in by literally our teacher in there, and for fuck’s sake, I’m probably going to be conscripted! I’m pretty sure they’re out there and I don’t. Want. To. Hurt. Anyone. So Jeff, please, don’t be my friend. I don’t want to have to kill you, okay?” Sebastian pushed Jeff away and ran to the dungeons, where the Slytherin common room was.

Kurt, Rachel, and Mercedes couldn’t help but hear, as they were also closer to Jeff’s line. Kurt approached Jeff as soon as Sebastian was out of sight. “Hey, are you okay?”

“Oh, Kurt. Yeah. Yeah, I’m okay. I never realized how bad his family was. I mean, I had my share of dark wizards in my family too, you know. Pureblood and all Slytherin and what not. But…” Jeff gulped. “Did you hear all of it?”

Kurt nodded as he grimaced. “That would’ve been tough, watching your mom kill your father to resurrect that… monster.”

Jeff sighed. “At least we know why he’s such a recluse.”

“I never liked him,” said Rachel, but when she felt the glares from the group, she stuttered, “b-but! I-it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t deserve a friend.”

“Yeah, I agree. He’s weird and rude but you’re his only friend, right? I think this is the only time he actually needs a friend.” Mercedes agreed. “Go, Jeff, come on, pull your pranks when your friend is okay.”

Jeff nodded. “Yeah, okay. Thanks, guys. I’d appreciate if no one says anything about hearing what Sebastian had said, though.” He stared at Rachel.

“Why are you staring at me?” Rachel asked, affronted, a hand in front of her heart.

“Because you could never keep your mouth shut. So, can you?” Jeff still stared at her.

“Okay, okay! I will never say anything about it to him!”

“Thanks, guys.” Jeff nodded again as he ran to the dungeons as well.

Since then, a lot of people—other than Slytherins that had their own share of dark wizards—of the school stared a lot at Sebastian, murmurs and whispers every time he passed, and some even flinched if he was a touching distance, as if he would suddenly turn into He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named in an instant.

\---

**fifth year**

Two years since Sebastian had let it slip that his parents were Death Eaters and his mother was a convict in Azkaban. A lot of people have put it behind them, unlike his fourth year where everyone flinched whenever he was close, but it was still a barrier to him making actual friends. Only Jeff was still adamant in his quest to be his friend, and while Sebastian was thankful for that, he was still wary that if he let Jeff in, he would be a target. The ragtag group of Kurt-Mercedes-Rachel were also a somewhat close acquaintance, often meeting the group at The Three Broomsticks at Hogsmeade where Jeff would pull Sebastian to their table and force him to interact. He would mostly talk to Kurt, as he could not follow Mercedes and Rachel’s tirade on Muggle theatre, but Kurt was Gryffindor’s Seeker while Sebastian was Slytherin’s Chaser. They also shared Arithmancy for their O.W.L. while he shared _nothing_ with the girls.

It was one of those weekends where Jeff pulled Sebastian out of the common room and to Hogsmeade and manhandled him to sit next to Kurt as he took the head of the table, already talking animatedly to Mercedes while greeting other students that passed their table.

“So, Kurt,” Rachel stated, which took the focus of both Kurt and Sebastian, who had been discussing the last Arithmancy meeting.

“Make it quick, Berry, my brain is still firing.” Sebastian said as he tapped his fingers on the table, clearly anxious and upset that his discussion was cut short.

“Look behind you,” said Rachel. All five eyes trained to the newest newcomer to the Three Broomstick, a Hufflepuff of the name Blaine Anderson.

Kurt immediately blushed.

“Anderson? The clumsy kid? What’s that got to do with Kurt? Come on, Kurt. Remember what Professor Vector had said last meeting?” Sebastian nudged Kurt with his fidgeting hand.

“Ah, it’s—I—what?” Kurt shook his head. “Sorry, sorry. Catch me up. Which one?”

“Kurt, are you seriously going to talk _maths_ when your crush is literally here?” Mercedes rolled her eyes. “When will you tell him how you feel?”

“One, it’s Arithmancy and two, crush? Really?” Sebastian raised his eyebrow.

“It’s perfectly human to have a crush on someone, Smythe.” Kurt reprimanded. “Do you have a problem with—that?”

“What? That you have a crush on stupid Anderson? Yeah, because you can do better. You know what, wait. I’ll conjure a parchment.” Sebastian tapped his palm on the table, conjuring a parchment. He began to scribble a complicated formula, biting his lip as he focused.

“Stupid Anderson?” Kurt hissed.

“Yeah. Last year I hit on him and we kissed but he was so fucking sloppy. I couldn’t continue. Told him it was a mistake and went back to David.” Sebastian slapped the table when he finished reciting the formula from Professor Vector. “Here, take a look, I’m fucking stumped. This x shouldn’t be here, should it?”

“Kissed—what—David who? Karofsky?” Jeff was apparently in this conversation now.

“Yes, kissed, a lot of people kiss before they’re fifteen, and no, fucking no even though he’s so deep in the closet he has actually fallen through the doors. David Thompson, sixth-year Ravenclaw.” Sebastian rolled his eyes. “You’ve lost your Arithmancy brain, have you?” he snapped his fingers in front of Kurt.

“Of course I’ve lost it—” Sebastian cursed silently when he heard that response and went back to figure out the problem on his own. “—you literally just said you’ve snogged my crush and you had a what, relationship with Thompson? You’re gay too?”

“I told you, you’re better than having a crush on someone that couldn’t even kiss properly. That might have been his height though,” Sebastian crossed something from the paper, “and yes, isn’t that obvious enough? I thought I made it pretty visible whenever I had my tongue down another boy’s mouth. But no, not a relationship. Just a benefits situation with David. He’s fucking good.”

“Oh. Wow. Well. I thought you and Jeff would have a problem with me being gay.” Kurt muttered to himself.

“Why would we?” Jeff asked. “It doesn’t make a difference. Sebastian basically sleeps or kisses whoever’s walking with a dick and I’m still friends with him.”

“One, not everyone, I have standards and two, that’s because you’re so fucking adamant. I told you I’m fine on my own.” Sebastian groaned from where he was battling his next fear after his Boggarts—an unsolvable Arithmancy problem.

“Sooooooo.” Mercedes started. “Are you going to talk to him or not?”

  
“Maybe,” said Kurt.

“No,” said Sebastian. “You could do better. That Adam guy from Hufflepuff is hot. And he’s a good kisser too.”

“The sixth year?” Rachel asked. Sebastian nodded. “Okay, no offense, but how many boys have you kissed?”

“Not sure. Didn’t count. More than ten. Kissing is fun, don’t tell me none of you have ever been kissed.” Sebastian said as he raised his head to look at the table. Only Jeff looked like he would answer his suspicion with a ‘duh’.

“God, you’re all pathetic. Why do I even hang out with you?” Sebastian groaned. “And they say _I’m_ the recluse.”

\---

**sixth year**

Sixth year was officially the worst year for Kurt Hummel. It started out well—he finally took the courage to ask Blaine out, and surprisingly enough, Blaine said yes. They had been hanging out on their own when one time, Karofsky had popped up to throw a snide or two at their direction.

Blaine, sweet, sweet Blaine, had encouraged Kurt to stand up for himself. They were older now, Kurt stronger than when he was in his second-year, he was an athlete, and he’s good enough with his spells.

He could do it.

That’s why he was now running in the halls in the dungeon, tears streaming down his eyes, as he tried to get as far away as possible from where he had cornered Karofsky, after Potions class.

He couldn’t believe Karofsky had tried to—to—to kiss him, and to touch him—and—oh god.

Kurt found a secluded corner to fall to his knees and cried. However, the corner was not secluded enough, and soon he heard footsteps coming closer to where he was curled up in himself. This was the end of him. He knew it. Kurt Hummel. Expires at the corner of Hogwarts dungeon.

“Hey, Kurt, it’s me.” That wasn’t Karofsky.

“Sebastian?” Kurt whimpered, raising his head slowly. When he saw those piercing green eyes, he threw himself at his somewhat-friend and sobbed, but at last, he felt safe.

“S-Seb… I-I met Kar-Karofsky,” he started, still sobbing against Sebastian’s chest, “I-I asked h-him wh-why he’s m-mean to me…” he snorted, “t-then h-he kissed me a-and tried t-to touch me—”

“Touch you?” Sebastian pulled himself away from Kurt’s hold, making the Gryffindor look at him in the eyes. “Touch you how?”

Kurt dug the heels of his hands into his eyes as he continued. “M-my body, Sebastian, he t-touched m-my body… I-I hexed him with a tickling h-hex b-but h-he had touched m-me…”

Sebastian pulled Kurt back into his arms. “Okay. You did great. The hex should leave him disoriented for a few days. That’s quick thinking.” Sebastian rubbed circles against Kurt’s back. “Are you okay?”

Kurt shook his head. “I-I f-feel filthy, S-Seb, I-I feel l-like I-I’d been touched by s-satan…”

“You’re not filthy, Kurt. Okay. I-I have the password for the prefects bathroom. Would you like to clean up there? It will help with the filthy feeling you have. There’s a warm bath.”

Kurt nodded. “B-but my—”

“You can borrow mine. It’s fine. Come on.” Sebastian tugged the boy still in his arms to move upstairs to the direction of the prefects bathroom.

“Why did you think going against Karofsky on your own is a good idea?” Sebastian asked as they were climbing the stairs and Kurt’s sobs seemed to have passed.

“Blaine.” Kurt murmured.

“Come again?”

“Blaine,” he said louder. “He told me t-to have courage. The way I did when I asked him out.”

Sebastian groaned. “I told you, he’s stupid.”

When they entered the prefects bathroom, Sebastian immediately locked the room. “Just in case someone walks into us. I’m not supposed to let just anyone in.”

Kurt nodded. “How come are you prefect though? You’re not exactly friendly to people.”

“That’s the whole point. Professor Slughorn said I was just like Hermione Granger when she was prefect. Ruthless and objective.” Sebastian shrugged as he took of his uniform, leaving himself in only his underwear. “Strip as much as you’re comfortable. I usually would leave none to imagination but I think that won’t work for your current condition.” He said, folding his clothes and put them to a corner before stepping into the bubbling bath.

Kurt followed suit, leaving only his undershirt and underwear, and put his clothes next to Sebastian’s. He stepped in and groaned at the warmth suddenly permeating his body.

“Why are you helping me?” Kurt finally asked as he settled in the water.

“I told you the first time. I’m not helping you.” Sebastian said without opening his eyes. His head is propped at the edge of the bath, hands threading on the water as the rest of body is submerged underwater. “I just think evil people like Karofsky and me deserves punishment.”

“You’re not evil.” Kurt reprimanded.

“Did you not remember third year DADA?” Sebastian opened one eye to glare at Kurt, then closed his eyes again. “It’s obvious that’s my trajectory in life.”

“Do you want it to be?” Kurt asked.

“Of course not. It’s fucking horrible. I just want to be a scholar. Maybe travel around to learn more about ancient runes of other nations, understanding the magic and maybe the dark arts attached to them. But not to be a dark wizard.” Sebastian sighed. “But that’s all just a dream.”

“Why can’t you make it your reality?” Kurt suggested. “Death Eaters have been obliterated by Mr. Potter and other Aurors too. It’s been decades since any signs of a ‘lord’ of the dark arts. I think you’ll be fine in your conquest of history.”

“We can never know. Maybe one day there’ll be a new lord of the dark and I’ll be conscripted. Then my fears are true.” Sebastian blew a long breath.

“It doesn’t have to be. You can always choose the path of light.”

Sebastian sighed. “We’re not here to talk about me.” He opened his eyes and straightened up. “How do you feel now?”

Kurt treaded his hands in the surface of the water. “Better, I think. For now. But I don’t think—I don’t think I can touch. People. That way. For now, I guess? Kissing and—whatever entails.”

“Understandable. Do you think your little boytoy would understand, though?” Sebastian asked. Kurt shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“I told you, he’s stupid.”

“For you, everyone is stupid, Sebastian.” Kurt splashed the Slytherin prefect with water.

“That’s true.” Sebastian chuckled. “You’re not that stupid, though.” He said, with this _twinkle_ in his eyes, that Kurt decided to ignore.

“I guess that’s as good of a compliment that I can get from the mighty Sebastian Smythe. Oh thank you, graceful lord.”

They both laughed. When they regained their sense, Sebastian smiled at Kurt. “I’m glad you feel better now.”

\---

The next time Kurt went to Hogsmeade, Jeff was alone. Jeff and Sebastian were basically attached to the hip—where one goes, the other follows—and this look was very, very strange indeed.

“Where’s your twin?” Rachel flipped his hair as she asked, looking awfully chipper without Sebastian’s presence.

“Detention.” Jeff shrugged, flagging Madam Rosmerta to order.

“… _The_ Sebastian Smythe? In detention?” Mercedes gaped. Jeff only nodded. He gave his order to Madam Rosmerta (“ _Firewhisky and Butterbeer, please. Both for me._ ”) before turning back to face the trio.

“Yeah. He attacked Karofsky in the common room, left him all bloody and that. Even Adams and Strando wouldn’t help out because of how bad Sebastian had it against Karofsky. I’m pretty impressed, actually.” Jeff shrugged.

“ _Impressed_?” Mercedes said with an incredulous stare. “Your friend beat Karofsky up and you think it’s _impressive_?”

“Of course! Sebastian did it the Muggle way—with fists and kicks and what not. No magic involved. He might be the Chaser and Captain all right, but he’s a literal twig compared to Karofsky. And he made _that_ damage.” Jeff whistled. “Damn, I would be striding to detention with confidence too.”

“Why would he—” Kurt stopped himself. “Was it because my problem with Karofsky?”

“Must be. Sebastian wouldn’t stop until Professor McGonagall was summoned and made Karofsky confess in front of her. Tomorrow it’ll be all Hogwarts is talking about.” Jeff said with a proud look in his face. “Sebastian thinks he’s the epitome of evil and all, but honestly, he’s just a very loyal friend. And that’s not evil at all.”

Kurt was silent as Rachel and Mercedes talked to Jeff about Sebastian’s assault and Karofsky’s status as a student—which probably would end soon. Sebastian talked about punishment in the prefects’ bathroom that day, but Kurt didn’t expect—didn’t expect the boy would take matters into his own hands, literally.

He buried his face in his hands. “It’s my fault he’s in detention.”

“Did you ask him to beat Karofsky up?” Rachel asked. Kurt shook his head. “Then it’s his own fault. Don’t worry, Kurt.”

“Yeah, this time I agree with Rachel. You didn’t ask him to do that. It’s his own thing.” Jeff took his drinks from Madam Rosmerta and sipped the firewhisky and butterbeer in sequence, making slurp noises as he did so.

“B-but he did it t-to make Karofsky confess, didn’t he?” Kurt took a deep breath. No, he was not going to break down in the middle of The Three Broomsticks.

“Well, yes, but I don’t think it was about you at all.” Jeff shrugged. “Sebastian is too selfish and prideful to think about you. He probably thought Karofsky had it coming.”

Kurt nodded. That sounded like the Sebastian they knew. It didn’t stop the voices telling him that Sebastian got into trouble because of his… issue, though.

“I wish I could tell him thank you.” Kurt sighed.

“Come on, Kurt, he’s not missing forever. We’ll see him at Monday.” Mercedes nudged Kurt at the side.

Kurt nodded. “Yeah, yeah. You’re all right.” He wiped his eyes. “We’ll see him Monday.”

\---

**seventh year**

Kurt and Blaine finally ended things in the second term of sixth year. Karofsky had been expelled and after seeing how vile a determined Sebastian could be, neither Adams nor Strando had even tried to do half the bullying they used to to younger pupils. And Sebastian, Sebastian could not be more subdued than ever before.

Kurt noticed this the first time they were paired together in Arithmancy and the other boy didn’t even notice Brittany Pierce’s faulty problem solving at the chalkboard. Sebastian never failed to find a fault in Arithmancy until that day.

Then in Quidditch—he didn’t play at the first match against Hufflepuff. Since he was a Chaser, they had a substitute, and while Hunter Clarington was a decent sixth-year Chaser, he was no Sebastian. Slytherin won just nearly, with 10 points above Hufflepuff.

The last straw was the first Hogsmeade weekend, Sebastian didn’t join them. The only time Sebastian didn’t go to Hogsmeade was when he had that detention because he beat Karofsky to a pulp which led to the latter’s expulsion.

Kurt has had enough of the secrecy and subduing, so the next Monday, he stopped Sebastian in front of the Ancient Runes classroom.

“Shouldn’t you be at Care for Magical Creatures or something?” Sebastian said immediately as he saw Kurt’s face. “I could take away points from Gryffindor for this reckless behaviour, Mr. Hummel.”

“So we’re back at last name basis now, Smythe?” Kurt quipped back.

Sebastian sighed. “Just, leave me be, Kurt.”

“No.” Kurt sighed back as he followed Sebastian downstairs to Transfigurations, a class they actually share. “You’re my friend and you’re not acting like the Sebastian I know. Should I be worried?”

Sebastian shook his head. “The more you forget about me, the better.”

“Why would I want to forget you?”

“No ties that way. Next year I won’t have the walls of Hogwarts to protect me. I don’t want to kill you.” Sebastian said.

“Sebastian, you—you always have a choice. You can defy your fears.” Kurt put his hand on Sebastian’s shoulder. “You can always come to me. I wouldn’t be dark. Can you imagine me being dark? I can’t.”

“I can. You have the same ambition and determination as I do. I’m aware the Hat thought of putting you to Slytherin too, you know.” Sebastian smiled sadly. “Kurt, I really care about you. I don’t want to hurt you, so please, let me be.”

“But what if I care about you too?” Kurt called when Sebastian was a few steps in front of him. The other boy stopped. “I care about you too. So much.” Kurt repeated.

“I heard you the first time.” Sebastian turned around. “But what I mean by care is not the way you mean it, I’m afraid.” Sebastian still had that sad smile in his face.

“How?” Kurt took the few steps that divided them. “Try telling me. It won’t hurt.”

“I like you. That’s not good. It can be used against me. Against _you_.” Sebastian took a deep breath. “This is a bad idea.”

“Sebastian, not everyone is out to get you. I thought these years have taught you that much. So what if your family is the darkest there ever been? If you could change it, why do you have to follow that path that you hate so much?” Kurt put his finger to hold Sebastian’s chin up, making the other boy look into his eyes. “I like you too, Sebastian.”

“But what if someone is out there, trying to get me?” Sebastian asked. “Only one person is needed to wreak havoc in this place. Should be the same thing to my life.”

“If so, then you won’t be alone.” Kurt grasped Sebastian’s hand in his, but it was taken away quickly.

“I need time, Kurt. Let me be.” Sebastian said before turning on his heel and ran to Transfigurations. Kurt sighed audibly before following downstairs.

\---

It took two weeks until Kurt found his head bonked by a crumpled paper in Potions.

‘ _Meet me at the grounds at 5pm._ ’

Kurt looked up to see the table in front of him, the only possible culprit of that paper. Sebastian had been looking at him to, with an expression Kurt couldn’t read. He nodded. Sebastian smiled and winked before going back to mixing a Memory Potion.

At five to five, Kurt had been pacing the grounds, holding his robes tight against the strong autumn wind. At five o’clock, a familiar sight met his eyes. Sebastian was equally holding his robes tight against the autumn cold as he ran to Kurt’s position.

“Hey.” Sebastian said.

“Hey yourself.” Kurt smiled. “What is this all about?”

“You’re right.” Sebastian sighed and wrung his hands out, wobbling on his heels as he looked on the ground. He took a deep breath, then said, “My fears might or might not be true. That doesn’t mean I have to dwell about the what ifs all the time. And—and you’re right, about having a choice. I always have a choice. I just decided to forget about it. Because all I know was—I grew up with Death Eaters. That’s all I’ve ever know even if I didn’t like it. It felt familiar. And it’s stupid as fuck.”

Sebastian raised his head, not to look at Kurt, but to the skies. “It’s stupid to rely on a series of traumatic events as a life principle. So,” he finally looked at Kurt, “maybe I’ll try this thing instead.” He closed the distance between them, and pressed his lips to Kurt’s.

Kurt sucked in a breath as he felt Sebastian’s lips pressing against his. This was not what he expected, but much, much better. He put his hands on Sebastian’s cheeks as he pressed back, licking into Sebastian’s bottom lip, as the other boy let him, let him roam his mouth, let him wrap his arms around Sebastian beneath the robes, and embraced him.

“This is perfect.” Kurt murmured.

“I don’t promise that I won’t be an asshole. I think that’s just a given.” Sebastian smiled. “I guess the heart wants what it wants, at the end of the day, eh?” he said as he wrapped his arms around Kurt, swaying them side-to-side on the grass.

“You’re such a sap. And a nice person, too. Always remember that.” Kurt said, burying himself to Sebastian’s neck, seeking shelter between his shoulder blades.

“I’ll try.” Sebastian said as he pulled back to kiss Kurt some more.


End file.
